Random Thoughts

Thousand (or so) Word Challenge – Part 3

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Timeless Love

Old Wounds

The coffee continued to chill as Peter sat in the café looking through the window as people strolled by.  After taking another sip from the mug, he winced his face in displeasure as the now cool cup o’ joe no longer appealed to him.  Taking notice from her station, Barbara, promptly made her way over to check in on her designated patron.

“Can I get you anything else?  Maybe a muffin?” she smiled as she questioned Peter.  Turning his head slowly in her direction from the window, Peter noticed her smile instantly.  A warm series of thoughts flashed through his mind instantly as he couldn’t help but return her smile.

“You remind me of my daughter, when she was your age.” he replied to her.  Pushing the cup and saucer away, Peter declined wanting anything else and asked for the check to be delivered.  He had waited as long as his patience would allow, and he knew soon, his disappointment would turn into anger.  As he waited for the check, the jingle from the bells hanging by the door instantly drew his attention.  Through the door came a few people with eager looks of hunger across their face.  Sadly, none of them were her.

With the check now in his hands, Peter gingerly made his way out of the booth to put on his sweater and collect his papers.  Focused on what he was presently doing, the same jingle of the bells went ignored this time as he had already resolved to leave.  As he turned to head towards the cashier, he was stopped in this tracks as he caught sight of her.  Standing there, scanning everyone in the café was Susan, looking just as beautiful as he had last seen her.  Slightly nervous and caught off-guard, when their eyes finally met neither of them could hold back their smile.

Peter ushered Susan into the booth he was preparing to leave from and called his waitress back over to the table.  With a slight zeal that Barbara hadn’t seen from him all morning, Peter ordered another coffee with toast.  Susan, after a slight moment to think, ordered the same.  Sitting across from each other, they both sat quietly, expecting the other to make the first attempt at speaking.  As their coffee made its way to the table, Peter took a sip before breaking their silence.

“I was beginning to think you’d never show.  That all of this was just another of your jokes.”  Instinctually, based off of their past, Susan immediately went of the defensive.

“Peter, please don’t start off like this.  It’s been far too long since we’ve last spoke.  I just wanted –”

“It’s been 10 years Susan.  10 years since we’ve had anything close to a talk.  And all because you chose him over me.  At the end of the day, despite it all –.”  Already exhausted with his words, Susan rolled her eyes and peered out the window as she drank her coffee.  Her reaction fueled the bit of anger growing within Peter, but instead of erupting he remembered the calming words of his grand-daughter from the night before.  ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff Grandpa.  Then you won’t have energy of what’s really important.’

“Pete.  I had hoped we could meet today and work on repairing us.  For our sake, and for the kids.  The past is the past.  I made mistakes, and you made some as well.” she lashed back.  Peter leaned back with a heavy sigh, looking over as the waitress placed their toast onto a platter to walk it over.

“So what do we do Susan?  You hurt me all those years ago and I can’t just forget that.  David was –.”

“David was the man I fell in love with.  And given all that we’ve been through I felt you should have respected that choice!”

“But what about my love for you Susan?  I knew he was no good for you and I told you this.  Yet still you chose to be with him.  You chose him over me.”  His last statement seemed to take a slight toll on him as he paused to catch his breath.  For so long, Peter toiled with himself if totally banishing Susan from his life was the right choice to make.  Finally hearing her voice and seeing her with his own eyes again, the regret of that choice steadily started to grow.

“I never wanted to hurt you with my choice Pete.  I wasn’t choosing David over you to spite you.  I chose David for me.”  Those words visibly bothered Peter as his brow curled upon hearing that.  Undeterred, Susan spoke on.

“Your love for me has always been strong Pete.  When my mom died you were there and when daddy died it was to you I turned.”  Peter sat staring at his toast as Susan spoke, deep in thought about what she had to say.

“I want us to be a family again Pete.  That’s why after all of the silence and hurt between us, I asked you here today.  But it’s going to take you letting go of the past to make it work.”

“And all it took was David dying to make you want to do this.  Convenient.”  As soon as he uttered the words, Peter knew he was wrong to say them.  However, his stubbornness made him stand by his statement even as the hurt on Susan’s face became undeniably.  They sat in silence as Susan fixed her view outside.  Taking one last bite of her toast, Susan reached into her purse and placed $20 on the table.

“Little brother, when you are ready to fully accept my into your life again, I pray that I am still here to take your hand.  I love you, and have always loved you but I cannot sit here with you any longer.  Enjoy the rest of this beautiful day.”  Without waiting to hear if he had anything to say, Susan spryly left the booth and exited the diner.  Watching Susan walk away, Peter knew that this could most likely be his last chance at a life with his sister.  With the thoughts of their past playing through his mind, both the good times and the bad, Peter hopped from the booth in pursuit of Susan.

Looking up the block, he was able to make out Susan walking slowly with her head bowed low.  With all of his energy, he paced after her until he was within reach of her.  Surprisingly to Susan, Peter took his hand into his and stopped her.

“Susan, I know there needs to be a lot of healing between us, but I also know time isn’t in abundance to either of us.”  Her smirk from his remark makes it easier for him to continue.  “I’m glad I got to see you today, maybe it is time I left these old wounds heal.”  They share a long hug that eases both of their minds.  As they walk on, Peter grabs Susan’s hand, letting her know that he is truly ready to start moving on.

Thousand (or so) Word Challenge – Part 2

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Brooklyn Sunrise

Son, Rise

“I’ve hated you for a long time.  Do you know what that’s like?”  The absence of sound from the room heightened the pitch of everything within it.  As Marcus paused between his thoughts, the monotonous tone from the ECG monitor gave him some resolve that his audience of one was still in attendance.  Seated at the bedside, Marcus felt a tidal wave of emotion as he stared onto a face too familiar to his own.

“We never spoke about you.  Shit, I used to make up stories about who you were just so that I could feel somewhat complete.  And now look at me.”  With too many thoughts running through his mind, Marcus felt himself ready to cry, but he made a promise to himself long ago to never shed a tear about any of this.  Instinctually, he bit his tongue as he’d grown accustom to, to prevent himself from succumbing to sorrow.  Standing up, he walked a few paces around the bed as he tried to collect himself once more.

“Everything was perfect you know. You being this mystery and all.  And then BAM, you show up and change the entire game up.  And what?  What did you expect me to do?  I wasn’t a boy anymore.  It was too late.  Too fucking late to matter.”  Marcus stood at the foot of the bed, staring in anticipation as if expecting some sign of life.  After a few uneventful minutes, he sat back down, and stared off in silence.

A knock on the door stole Marcus away from his thoughts.  Standing in the doorway was a nurse that caught both his attention and his eye.  With a smirk, knowing he was not supposed to be in this room at this time, he rose from the chair to meet her by the door.

“It must have been hard growing up for you.” she said nonchalantly.  Marcus gave a puzzled look, wondering how much of his conversation she had heard.

“Ummm, why do you say that?” he replied

“The kids must’ve teased you with a name like Denise.  Because right here – ,” she pauses as she shows him the list of allowed overnight visitors, “it says that a Mrs. Denise Parker is the only visitor allowed in here right now.”  With a smirk of her own, the nurse stands ready to hear any explanation Marcus had.  Although slightly amused by her sense of humor, everything else about his being there pressed more on his mind than indulging her at that moment.

“Yea, look.  I’m sorry about that.  That’s his wife.”  He points his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the patient he just walked away from.  “She sorta let me take her place for a little while to see him.  Figured it would be good for the both of us.”  As he talks, his gaze drifts from the nurse.  Listening intently and noticing his shift in demeanor, the nurse – Marilyn – deduces that Marcus’ being there had to be very hard for him.

“So then, who are you?” she asks sincerely.  Marcus looks at her momentarily and then slowly bows his head and looks at his feet.  Marilyn looks at him strain to speak, his face giving the appearance of an internal battle as he tries to answer her.

“Marcus, my name is Marcus.  I’m his son.”  With the words finally out, Marcus walks away to return to the bedside.  Seeing his pain, but not knowing why, Marilyn follows him into the room both to complete her chart and to make sure Marcus is okay.  As she fills out her sheet, Marcus sits back down with a conflicted look.  Not knowing whether to interrupt, Marilyn decides to help anyway she can.

“I take it that you two had a hard life together?” she asks, not expecting any type of answer.  Marcus lets out a sigh but never gives her his full attention as he speaks.

“We actually had no life together.  I’m his son, but this guy has never been my father.”  Clasping his hands, he leans forward to stretch his back while he continues.  “I only met him a few months ago for the first time.  Graduated college and got a father as my lifetime achievement award.”  His attempt at humor did nothing to hide his pain.  Marilyn wanted to interject, but it was clear all he wanted to do was talk.

“My whole life I spent conflicted about this dude until one day I just stopped caring.  I made my peace with the cards dealt and played on.  Didn’t need him, ya know.”  A slight visage of anger began to take over his face as he continued speaking.

“Peep this.” he says to Marilyn, but never really bringing her into the conversation she knows he is truly having with his father.  “He shows up, tells me who he is and all that and then stands there like I’m supposed to be so grateful.  Fuck that.  I shook his hand and was like, ‘Nice of you to finally show up, hope the rest of your life is well.’  Twenty-four years of dreaming and imagining that moment and that’s what I end up saying?  And I walked off and we haven’t spoken since.  Denise reached out a few times, especially when this happened.”  As Marcus sat, trying to hold it all together, Marilyn felt powerless to help.  Sensing that she needed to tell him something, she put her clipboard down and rested her hand on his shoulder.

“Marcus, I don’t know you or this situation well at all.  You sound so hurt and so full of regret.”  Her pause allowed for Marcus to react in any way he needed to, but his head stayed buried in his palms.

“Whatever this man has done to you, or hasn’t done for you – I think what’s most important is that despite all of that you are here with him right now.  Life is too precious, too short, to live with the pain of the past holding us back.  I can already see how conflicted you are about all of this.  I don’t know what your goal is, but I would argue that in some way you need to resolve things with him while he is here.  Whether you like it or not, you’re his son.  In order for you to move on with your life, you’re going to need to rise above your pain and accept that.”

The words hit a cord with Marcus as he lifted his head and peered out of the window.  The cresting sun worked to erase all traces of the night and Marcus sat back in the chair as a satisfied Marilyn left him to ponder on her words and whatever thoughts he may have had.